an open love letter to my forever valentine, 2023.

the other night you asked me if I was nervous that first day when you flew into atlanta. for someone that has never visited, I know that last escalator before hitting baggage claim can incite very high levels of nerves and anticipation. I feel it every time I come home, knowing how sweet the rest of the world is, there is always this feeling of haste when I know i’ll be hitting my home turf soon. (you know I get homesick easy).

that day when we first met I was very excited. I wanted to meet you and be in your presence. I wanted to get to know you thru your non-verbal cues and other subtleties that only people that really pay attention would understand. I remember the first thing we did was hug, hold hands and kiss. I told you you were a lot shorter in person, and we waited for your bags.

valentines day week 2013 is always so special to me because it was this week, now 10 years ago, God brought you into my life. at that time we knew so little of each other, but what we shared was that we wanted to have every moment with each other from that moment on. 4 months later we got married, and we have never stopped fighting for each other since.

us in my bedroom, EAV Feb 2013

Getting ready to go out.

one of our first dates ever together was at a chipotle

I was so happy :)

financial instability thankfully was not a red flag for you, and i’m always so thankful that our relationship never hinged on the amount I made. our mantra is to never be afraid to try new things and to dedicate ourselves to doing something that falls within the lines of tolerable and happy. one of our first dates was at a chipotle, and now, even 10 years later we still get excited to grab carry out at halal guys down the street.

I appreciate your patience with me when it comes to my unwavering passions. After one of our recent fights, I was pondering the concept “what makes a great partner?” this question was stuck in my head and wanted to rationalize an answer so that I may more deeply understand ways that I can better become one. on my drive home today I was enlightened and suddenly peace came over me. being a great partner, in my case, means be a lazy artist, an unreliable friend, an absent son, an absent brother, an absent uncle, a half-way collaborator, a silent activist, a greedy community member, a sub-par business owner, a passive soul. being in a relationship, having an excellent relationship with your partner and having an excellent relationship with yourself are 2 things that are rarely synonymous. in our 10 years together we’ve seen many relationships fail, and at the root of all of these break-ups is selfishness. the heart wants what the heart wants, but if the heart wants something that has nothing to do with your partner, then love is only setup to be lost. every time in our 10 years together when I started to fall victim to the misconception of self-preservation, in retrospect I witnessed our love start to languish and bits of the machine we built together would start to fail. every conversation we had that helped lead me back to us during the dark times has made life much more beautiful, and I never regret letting those “things” go because the reward that comes with choosing us is always the best choice. I also respect so much the equal share of sacrifice you made for the sake of us. youre so capable of so much and sometimes Im baffled that you’d rather be at home eating tuna rice with a scrub like me watching physical 100 in our PJ’s while the whole world has so much more to offer someone like you. as driven as I am, if having a wonderful life with you is all that God would allow for my legacy i’m happy, because youre worth every “missed” opportunity. all of this shit is fake when you REALLY break it all down, and at the end of our lives, the only thing that matters is our loved ones and the life we shared.

Aquarium

in front of the big tank.

jellyfish

one of the big lessons I learned this year revolves around happiness. in love, happiness is not always an emotion, but more of a moral obligation. I know now that it is my duty to be emotionally strong when you are feeling down, and that my actions cannot be dictated simply off however it is that I am feeling that day. you do this for me so well. you have such a strong soul and are impervious to so much, but I do know the wounds from the ongoing fighting for life compounds and can start to take its negative effects. my goal for you this year is to maintain and handle more in the presence of our togetherness. I want to be an artist and also be a good husband. I want to feel success with my business and have you by my side. I want us to experience more, together.

the old shitty Hyundai

Us together, during your first visit to Atlanta.

In relationship, I dont like to use the word change. I view it more as an evolution. when there is healthy compromise we evolve into versions of ourselves where intention is at the core. my goal is to always maintain intentionality. I love you babes. I’ll have flowers and chocolate ready for you when youre back in town.

happy v-day, 2023 <3